Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Randomize
