i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
