It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
