Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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