you turned your livingroom into a bong?
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Randomize
