HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Randomize
