I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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