I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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