i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
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