Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Randomize
