Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
