I hate your face
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
