what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
