He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
He was trying to break into my apartment to get the coke he left last night, didn't engage parking break, so the van started rolling. yup, it's broken.
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