I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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