You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
