WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
