I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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