It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Randomize
