His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
