I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I woke up under a house in Key West
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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