my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Randomize
