Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Before making travel and hotel reservations to meet your "affair" for the first time, consult your menstrual calendar! $633 wasted!
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
