Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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