its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
