it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Randomize
