home. puking in laundry basket.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
