Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
