He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
They took my balls.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Randomize