how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
