i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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