her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Randomize
