I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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