the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There are leaves in my underwear?
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
