You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
