just come out here and I will go home with you...
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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