Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
You're a waste of cheezeits
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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