How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
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