So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize