So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
i need some magic done to my vagina
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
