I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Randomize