I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
