I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Randomize
