Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize