You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
