Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
