Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
