If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize
