i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
