At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Randomize
