I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize