apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
bring money and cleavage
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
