Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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