tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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