dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
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