So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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