did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
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