if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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