question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
