she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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