Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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