what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
