I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
