There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
