Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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