addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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