it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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